Trigger Happy Havoc - Wa Edition
by JoeyOlberding
Summary: Imagine Trigger Happy Havoc the game you all love but with Waluigi for some reason. That's it. How will the presence of the Wa himself change the events at Hope's Peak Academy? Will he at all? Well, if you read this story, you'll know. Rated T for language and blood no spoilers (for the most part w/mainstory) constructive criticism much appreciated. (this is my first fic after all)
1. Introductions and Garlic

...Of course, everyone in the room was surprised to wake up in a classroom sleeping on a desk, when everyone thought that they were supposed to go to an orientation. Everyone was very suspicious, well, aside from Hiro, but even that didn't last forever. Having a giant safe vault or something where the front doors should be is already strange enough, not to mention all the metal plates on the windows and the cameras and even guns mounted on the ceilings. Really, there were a lot of strange things that happened on that first day all 15 of those students remember at Hope's Peak Academy. All these things were explained at some point, though, aside from one really weird thing, that even Monokuma couldn't explain.

Everyone had a feeling that Makoto Naegi would be the last one to enter the Main Hall, where they all had gathered. Hifumi had said that it seemed like a good cut-off point, and he assumed everyone else was there, but as those students would see in the next few weeks, that simply wasn't true. Taka had even yelled at Makoto claiming him to be late and he was going to report him. Yet just as Hina was offering to have everyone introduce themselves…

"Wait... who's that guy with the big nose over there?" Hiro asked, pointing in the direction of a tall, lanky man who didn't look at all like the was in high school, complete with a 110 degree angled mustache and the fact his nose looked like a radish. He was a little taller than Byakuya but was as thin as Toko, and looked like her came straight out of a cartoon or something, complete with the awful fashion sense.

"Waaa?! I didn't expect my big entrance to start off with some loser making fun of my nose..." The strange, lanky man said as he started to touch his nose with his gloved hands with a vertical mirror image of an L, which was also on his hat… for some reason.

"Whoa! Sorry, man. I was just pointing it out, it's so weird and pink and all..." Hiro said, taken aback.

The lanky guy stares at Hiro with a very angry expression before he couldn't hold in his rage any longer. "Waaaaaaa! You've messed with the wrong Waluigi, wise guy!" He said, as he started stomping his orange elf shoe down on the concrete floor with anger.

This makes Hiro terrified, of course. "A-ah!"

"Wait, Waluigi? The fuck? Is that French or some shit?" Mondo asked in the direction of Aoi and Celes. Aoi just shrugged while Celes said nothing.

"Dude, chill! Damn, this guy is going crazy!" Leon said, the second comment as he nudged Byakuya.

Byakuya just scowled.

Yet just about everyone else had their eyes focused on Hiro, who was in the middle of flailing his arms around and running screaming "Please don't kill me, please don't kill me!"

Everyone of the 14 other students quickly noticed and there was a silence from them for a while… aside from Waluigi and Hiro, of course.

Then, Chihiro spoke up.

"G-guys, I know that we're in a strange situation and all, and not everyone is feeling safe b-but… we need to focus on our new… f-friend who just entered. I need both of you to calm down."

Sakura nodded. "I agree. We won't get anywhere unless we calm down."

Soon, everyone started attempting to get Hiro and the lanky guy to calm down.

With Hiro being held back by Sakura from flailing some more, Byakuya looked directly into the lanky guy's eyes with blue… wait, was that eyeliner?

"Tell us your name. And make it quick. I want to figure out what happened to this place." He says, putting as much frustration in his voice as possible by him.

The lanky guy is taken aback, which most people assume is by Byakuya's sharp tone.

" _ **Waaaaaaaa?!**_ Do you not know the great Waluigi?! Waluigi feel sorry for you all..." He says, with a legitimately sad look on his face.

After an awkward silence, Makoto is the first to speak up. "Am I correct in a-assuming Waluigi is your name…?" At that moment, if you were to glace around the room, you would see nobody but Sayaka with anything resembling a smile on their face, and that's probably because Makoto looked straight at her after that question, but attempted to play that cool, but, to put it bluntly, failed.

Waluigi just sighs.

After another awkward silence, this one shorter, in a booming voice, "Well, of course that's his name! What else did you think it was?! Wa?!...Although that isn't any less weird..." Junko yells, although muttering the last sentence to herself.

"Yeah!"

"You tell him, Junko!"

Makoto looks hurt, while Sayaka goes over to him to pat him on the back, as a form of comfort, because of how badly he failed to play it cool earlier, everyone knew all at once that Makoto had the hots for Sayaka.

Taka sighs very, very loudly. "Bullying a fellow classmate is a terrible, terrible thing to do! You should all be ashamed! I can't believe you all… you have no regard for your fellow students!"

Taka gets weird looks and quiet whispers to and from other people.

"That isn't our biggest problem, however, WALUIGI!"

"Waaaaat is it, you goody two shoes loser?"

Taka gasps in shock. "W-well, on top of that, you are even later than that… normal guy over there!" He points to Makoto.

"I have a name, you know….It's Makoto Naegi!"

"S-shut up, let him speak..." Comments Toko.

Taka ignores the words by the two. "Orientation was supposed to start… 54 minutes and… 19 seconds ago! How dare you be so late to the start of our high school lives here at Hope's Peak Academy!"

Waluigi scratches the top of his head. "Wa? First you tell Waluigi you don't even know who Waluigi is, next you tell me I'm supposed to go to High School **AGAIN?** I've never even heard of this place…. Ooh, you're messing with the wrong Waluigi…!"

"Wait, you weren't picked as a Ultimate High School Level anything? That's a bit odd..." Aoi comments.

"Yes, quite. How did you even get in the school? By the looks of it, it seems as if we are the only ones in this place, considering all the metal plates and the giant vault straight behind us." Celes said, tilting her head towards the giant vault keeping us in here.

"Well, maybe we shouldn't worry about that! After all, we have all these great people around us, and I'm sure we can find out everything together!" Sayaka says, overly joyously.

"Ms. Maizono, I wouldn't have that much confidence… who knows what's out there?!" Hifumi says, being dramatic.

"Shut up everybody." Byakuya says bluntly.

"D-don't tell me to shut up..." Toko says, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Shut up everybody. Waluigi. How did you get here?"

"Waluigi remember nothing… but Waluigi did have some bad garlic. I do not suggest eating that stuff." Waluigi comments whilst shaking his head.

Leon facepalms.

"Well, I think I'm safe in assuming that everyone else here is a high school student, but how old are you Waluigi?" Kyoko asks.

"Waaaaaaaahahahaahahahaha! Waluigi laughs at that question!"

Everyone in the room is confused. Some more than others. Hiro nods, totally getting it, while Junko looks ready to punch Waluigi in the face.

"Waluigi, why would you laugh at that?" Makoto asks, confusion on his boring face.

"Wahahaha! Well, you lousy loser, Waluigi have no idea! Wahaha!"

If people were confused before, they are, without a doubt, more confused now. Hiro is the only one with any form of understanding on his face.

"...What…? How could you not know…?" Chihiro asks, quietly.

Waluigi ignores this question, or maybe just didn't hear. "All Waluigi knows is that he's old enough to grow a great mustache, which not even Corn-on-the-Cob over there can say, so Waluigi probably at the very least a Sophomore in college." He says nonchalantly.

"Wait one goddamn minute… the fuck did you just call me?! I'm gonna kill you, you asshole!" Mondo yells, ready to charge at him, but Sakura rushes over to hold him back.

"Mondo. Waluigi. None of this is needed."

"Wahahaha! If you want to threaten Waluigi, you've gotta be one funny guy! Seriously, though. Those threats aren't alright." Waluigi says, being completely serious at the end.

"Huh…. And here I thought Waluigi had no sense to him…. Dang, sorry about that." Hiro says, finally calm, as some people comment quietly.

As Mondo is still seething with rage and desire for Waluigi's head on his wall, Kyoko puts her hand up in silence as she begins to speak.

"Alright, everybody. I think that not everyone knows each others names, even if some have already introduced themselves to everyone or just to certain people..." She says, glancing at Makoto, Waluigi, and Sayaka.

"Oh, that's a great idea! Well everybody. I'm Sayaka Maizono, the Ultimate High School Level Pop Sensation!"

"We know. Let somebody else go." Byakuya says bluntly.

This time, Makoto is the one to comfort Sayaka. Leon gives a thumbs up and winks at him.

"S-shut up, you…!"

So one by one, everyone went around telling everybody else what special thing got them into Hope's Peak. Baseball player, gambler, moral compass, fanfiction writer, it could be whatever!...Wait, what was that last one?

"How about you, Makoto? How did you get into this school?" Aoi asks.

"Uh, me? Well, I was pretty lucky to get into the school..."

"Mr. Naegi, don't say that… you can't be as lucky as the rest of us!" Hifumi says, smiling at Makoto.

"Oh no, I really was… after all, I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student."

The room is silent for a good few seconds.

"U-uh, now's not the time for jokes…s-seriously, how'd you get in?" Junko says, stuttering for some reason.

"No! Do not question Makoto further! I for one know that it is true!" Taka proclaims.

"I-if you don't mind me asking, how?" Chihiro asks, curiosity in her brown eyes.

"Over the past summer, I have done extensive research into who is all going to a part of my class. I had known everyone's names and how they got in, but I decided not to ruin everything!...Although, there are some students that I researched that aren't here… strange." Taka says, in his very booming voice.

"So you can say for certain that Makoto is the Ultimate Lucky Student? How curious..." Celes comments.

"Without a doubt!"

"Waaaaaa, and Waluigi thought he was the lucky one… You're nothing but a cheater!" Waluigi says as he points to Makoto.

"W-what are you on about, you g-garlic eating weirdo? H-he got in t-totally fair! S-someone so b-boring couldn't possibly have t-tampered with anything..." Toko says, trailing off at the end.

Makoto sighs.

"I don't know if that's a compliment or not, but can someone change the subject, please…?"

Luckily for Makoto, the speaker system crackling to life did it for him.

 _Ding, dong, bing, bong_

A black figure appears on the monitor with a shape that would be unrecognizable to most everyone there.

"W-what's that figure?! Is it aliens again? Ah!" Hiro yells.

Several people shush him.

"Ahem, ahem! Testing! Testing! Mike check, one, two! This is a test of the school broadcast system."

Everyone looks up at the monitor, awaiting information about where they are.

"Am I on…? Can everyone hear me?"

"Wa! Of course we can hear you you sh-"

This time, everyone shushes Waluigi.

"Okay, well then…!"

I think everyone in the Main Hall was confused at how… unprofessional the voice sounded. It sounded too carefree, considering all the weird things around the 15 and a half students. (The half being Waluigi, of course)

"To all incoming students, and that means everyone in the Main Hall, I would like to start the entrance ceremony… right now! Please make your way to the gym as early as you possibly can!"

There were some nods at this, finally getting some info.

"…That's all for now. I'll be waiting~"

The speaker system crackled off, letting everyone know that there was no additional information. There were some sighs of relief.

"Who was THAT?" Hifumi asked loudly to nobody in particular.

"I-i don't know… but I have a feeling that we really should just… go to the gym. That was scary as hell..." Junko replied.

Taka laughed a hearty laugh. "Hahahaha! Well, I'm happy that we are finally ready to get on with the orientation! I know some of you may have a bad feeling like Junko or Hifumi, but if we stick together I think that we'll all see that nothing is to be feared!"

There were some comments that couldn't be made out to anybody but the ones who said them.

"Yeah, I agree with the Moral Compass, for once this is all to get up pumped for the Entrance Ceremony!" Hiro said optimistically.

"I didn't hear you for part of that, Hiro. What did you say?" Sayaka asked sweetly.

"Um… uh…. Nothing….?"

"...I'm leaving." Byakuya said as he turned to go towards the gym.

"I'm not so sure Hiro… what about the guns in the room?"

"Wa? When did you guys start talking about Waluigi's physique? Ah, you must be jealous… I don't blame you! Wahahahahaha!" Waluigi started flexing after he was done speaking, while looking at Makoto.

Kyoko, being next to Makoto, just pointed up. This made Waluigi look up and see the Gatling Guns underneath way more cameras then were necessary.

"Oh… thanks mysterious lady… Waluigi appreciates it..."

Silence.

"...But I'm sure you're still jealous of Waluigi! Waaaaa!"

Even more silence… Wait, are those crickets? Nope, just my imagination.

"...You're lousy." Waluigi says, defeated.

"Y-yeah I'm going to be following Ma- I mean… Byakuya to the g-gym now..." Toko says.

"I think I shall be joining you." Sakura comments.

One by one the students still in the Main Hall went over to join each other in the Gym, but one question remained… Who was that figure in the monitor? Well, that and how did Waluigi get here, but mostly the first one.

 **So that ends the first chapter of my first story here! I hope you all enjoyed the concept, and more importantly, the story. This, as just mentioned, is the first fanfic I've ever written. I don't expect to become as good as Hifumi (Or maybe that's really easy to do, depends on how you see it) Because this is my first story, I ask for constructive criticism, and nothing too harsh.**

 **I have no idea how I came up for the concept for this story, but I did, and now this exists on the internet. (Also, as someone who almost never writes when it's not for a school paper I can say that was a lot of work. Hopefully I'll get more used to that amount or even more as time goes on.)**

 **As always, I hope you have a great day, and hopefully this is enjoyed by all of you. :)**


	2. Of Monokuma and Men

Everyone was on their way to the gym to listen to the information that the weird figure in the monitor said would give to the 15 students, and Waluigi, in Hope's Peak Academy. Some were more on task than others, however, and Taka wasn't going to have it...

"My first few steps in this school have been rough so far, honestly." Leon said, scratching his head.

"Well, I get that, Mr. Kuwada, but if you keep an optimistic attitude, I'm sure everything will turn out fine." Hifumi replied, smiling.

"I dunno man… I feel as if someone is about to attack me at any moment..."

"WA!" Waluigi screamed as he ran right by Leon, like he didn't notice him at all.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Silence.

"...Pfft." Hifumi couldn't help but to laugh a little. Soon enough, Leon was laughing too, and soon the two were cracking up.

"Dude, that scared the shit out of me! Damn, Waluigi has no idea how to not Wa every two minutes, I swear..."

Taka fast approached the two, before Hifumi could even let out a breath.

"Now now, my fellow students, we can't waste anymore time! The one to give us the information is awaiting in the gym, and I am volunteering to round everyone up! You see, I've already rounded up half the group! So please, make your way over there posthaste!"

With that, Taka ran off to the direction of Hiro, who was eating a Ziploc bag of Trail Mix that looked as if it had been in there for 2 years or something. "Hey dude, I found this in my jacket, want some of the-" Hiro was cut off by a raging Taka, who immediately took the bag and threw it in the trashcan nearby.

"Well... I can't eat them now..." He said, looking rather glum.

"...Yeah, Taka's right, Hifumi. We should go to the gym."

There were some people gathered in the trophy room part of the gym. They were all polished and nice and it was full of banners, which, overall, looked very nice and fit with the room perfectly, but some would disagree…

"Waaaa! Waluigi has major complaints with this room!"

Junko rolls her eyes. "What do you know about what makes something look good to make you say that?! Look at you- you're wearing orange elf shoes! Seriously, Waluigi… Do you even know the first thing about fashion?"

"To be fair, fashion is something that you've always been great at, Junko… Maybe he just doesn't know? I wouldn't be too harsh on him…" Makoto said, feeling sympathy for Waluigi after he got yelled at by Junko not that long ago, either.

"Still, it's pretty bad, even for some of the people in this school's choice of clothes or hair styles." Junko said, shaking her head.

"Waaaa… My fashion sense is amazing! Waluigi's peers will come to understand in the future… Waluigi is number one!" He said, putting two fingers up on both hands very high up, as if he had just won a game or something.

"The fuck you doin', eggplant? God, you are one weird fuckin' guy..." Mondo said, perplexed.

"Waaaaaaa? Eggplant? Waluigi LOVE eggplant! How did Corn-on-the-Cob know? Waluigi so happy!" waluigi said, genuine joy on his face just by hearing the name of one of his favorite foods.

"Stop calling me that, bitch! At least I don't wear a hat all the time just to hide my receding hairline!" Mondo yelled, prompting oohs from Junko.

"Mondo. Waluigi. Am I going to have to keep tabs on you guys so that you aren't on the verge of killing each other every other hour? Because one way or another, I can do it." Sakura said, getting furious herself.

"G-guys… We should all just calm down, and we should all work to becoming friends, not enemies, right Makoto?" Sayaka asked, looking at Makoto with watery eyes.

"Y-yeah, y-you're totally r-right, Sayaka..." Makoto said, stuttering the whole way through red as tomato, not making his case for not being into Sayaka whatsoever.

"Man, I feel bad for Makoto… he isn't smooth at all..." Junko whispered to Mondo.

"Well, the chick he digs totally loves the attention- look at her. Those 'watery' eyes are so fuckin' fake." This prompted chuckles from both of them, the fact that Makoto looked over at them with a horrified expression, like he was caught doing something a lot worse than having a high school crush, helped with the laughing fit, too. It seemed like Mondo already forgot about Waluigi and what just happened between them.

"We've wasted enough time. Let's actually go in." Kyoko said, as she walked through the main doors to the real, big gym.

"Yes, I believe that we have spent enough time here. Everyone else has already gathered it seems." Sakura said, as she followed Kyoko.

Everyone followed Sakura and Kyoko after that, but nobody knew quite what would happen in that gym that day, nobody knew where they were, why the plates and guns were there, they had no idea about anything, but the first clue was right in that gym.

In the gym, it was way nicer than most people were expecting. The gym floor looked brand new with a perfect amber color to it. Folding chairs were lined up in the middle of the room facing the stage, where everyone assumed their presenter for the entrance ceremony would be. In the middle of the stage, there was a giant red Hope's Peak Academy banner, matching the color of the folding chairs, and a pedastal with a microphone where it was assumed the speaker was going to talk.

"Oh! 16 chairs! That's perfect for everyone. That's nice of whoever made this entrance ceremony to put a chair for everyone here!" Aoi said, getting excited.

"Are you seriously getting excited over CHAIRS? That's sad, even for you people..." Byakuya said, never losing the sharpness in his voice.

"Mr. Togami, you can't tell me that you don't enjoy a good chair… You do enjoy a good chair, right?" Hifumi asked, totally seriously.

Byakuya just scoffed.

"This discussion is useless. We came here to find out about where we are and how he leave, correct? I suggest we start doing that, and we may being that by being quiet." Celes said, in her trademark overly sweet voice.

"Nyeeeeh… Waluigi no feel like eet. Is an off day for Waluigi." Waluigi said, as he plopped down in one of the folding chairs and started to nap.

"Is...is he seriously napping right now? H-how can he even do that…?" Chihiro asked, to nobody in particular.

"I said… WAKE THE FUCK UP BEFORE I MURDER YOU, YOU WANNABE RADISH!" Celes scremed, saying "fuck you" to the whole overly sweet shtick for a good minute.

"Wa?!"

"Please don't kill me, oh master Celes..." Hiro said, worshiping Celes while actually sobbing.

"P-please stop… I k-know that n-not everyone l-loves that..." Toko said quietly, as she glanced over at Byakuya a few times.

But instead of stopping like Toko asked, an unfamiliar voice decided to join the conversation.

"Quiet, quiet everyone!"

Everyone was quiet. Yes, even Waluigi.

"Alright, hey! Howdy! Hello! I see that everybody is here, so let's get this show on the road!"

Everyone was curious or scared to know who or what the voice belonged to, and for some even both, like Hiro.

Out from behind the podium came a small, stuffed bear with a half white side and a half black side. The white side was cute, while the black side was… freaky. It all came together to form the only thing able to describe it: Monokuma.

"...Huh? I-is that a… Teddy Bear?" Chihiro asked, to nobody in particular through all the confusion.

"I'm not a Teddy bear..."

"That much was obvious, even for me..." Leon said to himself silently.

"I'm Monokuma!"

"Ah, shit. It's like Waluigi all over again..." Mondo said, obviously not happy he has to go through this again.

"...Waluigi? Is that the name of a band or something?" Monokuma asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

"Waaaaa? Why does nobody know the name of the great Waluigi? Waluigi is catching no breaks here..."

There was an awkward silence, both from the one named Monokuma and everyone else.

"I'm, uh, gonna figure that out later… when I don't have to do this. For now I'm gonna pretend who this guy is..."

"I'm siding with Waluigi here… How does nobody know who he is…? I almost feel bad for him..." Aoi said, thinking.

"That's what Waluigi is saying!" Waluigi screeched, with his hands pulling down his hat over his face in… anger? Probably anger.

"Anyways...Like I was saying before… that happened..." Monokuma continued. "I… am the school's headmaster!"

There was audible confusion from the 16 people below Monokuma.

"Uh… How are you the headmaster… You're a bear!" Makoto said, accusingly.

"I'm not a bear… I'm… Monokuma!" The bear said, getting madder.

For all the students there, it was probably one of the strangest things that they had ever seen. Except for Hiro. That boy had seen some shit, let me tell ya. And probably Waluigi, knowing him.

"W-wait…. THE BEAR CAN TALK?!" Hifumi screamed, being a bit late to the whole bear thing. (Even I beat him to it!)

"For the last time…. I'm not a bear! I'm… MONOKUMA!" He said with utter rage, making Hifumi even more horrified.

"W-WAIT… IT MOVES, TOO?!" Hifumi screamed louder this time.

"Hifumi, I suggest shutting up. Now." Celes said bluntly. I don't think she was in a very good mood.

"Anyway, I bet he's just a toy or some shit… nothing too crazy." Mondo said, trying to get Hifumi to calm down, although Celes' method worked better.

" _Sigh_ , comparing me to some toy you play around with… unbelievable! Not even NASA could understand how complicated I am!" Monokuma stated, obviously proud of himself.

"U-uh, that's kinda hard to believe..." Chihiro said. Of course, as the Ultimate Programmer she would know, I guess.

Monokuma ignored Chihiro's comment. "...Don't tell them I said that, though. I be they couldn't BEAR it."

"I don't know about you guys, but Waluigi thinks that this guy would make for a terrible stand-up comedian." Waluigi said, raising a good point.

There were some murmurs of agreement from the other students.

"Really? I think he's pretty good." Hiro said.

Of course, to that there was just silence.

"Why, that was hurtful! Simply hurtful! I can't believe you're so willing to be honest… if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!" Monokuma said, looking depressed for the second time in about two minutes.

"Damn… this guy is getting destroyed by hecklers up there… Waluigi really does have a good point! Heh!" Leon said, proud of himself for the joke. Waluigi was the only other one to laugh.

"T-that wasn't e-even funny..." Toko said, heckling Leon.

"Anyways, we are quite busy! We need to move on, we really do!" Monokuma said, trying not to leave room for anymore side comments.

"Everyone, stand attention and bow, good morning!"

Taka was the only one to actually bow. Everyone else just stood there observing how ignorant he really was.

"He's hopeless." Byakuya said.

"Well, without wasting any more time, no, none at all, I'll go straight into what your school life will be like here at Hope's Peak Academy! Yay!"

"Yay!" Sayaka said back, and being completely ignored."

"To make no mistake, you 16, er, 15 students represent the hope of the world, and that's why you are all here!"

"Except for Waluigi. Nobody know why he here..." Waluigi commented, sad.

"To protect that hope," Monokuma said, purposefully ignoring Waluigi, "You will all be living solely within the confines of this school. Nowhere else!"

"What? That can't be…!" Sakura said, shocked.

"Oh, but it is! You are the hope of the world after all, we can't have you being killed by strangers!"

There were whispers and even audible words of disagreement.

"Why, you will have total freedom, though!...Aside from the rules and relegations I ask you to follow.

"Keep in mind, it would be chaos if there weren't rules, everyone." Kyoko said, only loud enough for a few people to hear, not over Hiro's loud screaming, anyway.

"I'm going to die with nobody to love me! In the confines of a school! What else can go wrong?! Aaaaaaah!"

"W-wait, we're staying here until… the day we d-die…?" Sayaka asked, terrified.

"Yep! It's for your own good, after all!"

"I can't believe that…!" Junko said, breathless.

"Oh, don't worry! We provide necessary food, drink, toiletries, etc., our school budget is so big, we can sustain you easily for all your lives."

"W-well, can we at least communicate with out families?" Makoto asked, hopeful.

"Nope! No outside communication whatsoever."

"Wait… is that what those metal plates on the windows are for?" Kyoko asked.

"Yep! That's their use!"

"...If this is a joke, it's really not fucking funny anymore, bro." Mondo said, pissed off.

"This isn't a joke at all! I, Monokuma, have never once lied!"

"Somehow, Waluigi doubts that."

"Nobody asked you!" Mondo yelled, clearly focused on Monokuma.

"Oh come on, what's the problem? You all came to this school on your own free will right?"

"No." Everyone answered in unison.

"What?! How is that possible, you all signed your signatures and everythi- ohhhhhh… right, Waluigi."

"Oh, I was strictly talking about myself, actually." Hiro said bluntly.

"Wait, really? Me too!" Hifumi said. They started laughing.

"But, I mean, come on, there has to be another way to get out of the school!" Aoi said, desperate not to spend the rest on her life in a school.

"Oh…? Well, there is one other way..." Monokuma said, cunningly.

"Well? What the hell is it? Spit it out!" Leon yelled.

"W-wait, really?" Toko said, unconvinced.

"As the headmaster, I've made a special clause for those who really want to leave! It's called the Graduation Clause!"

"OK, what is it though? You're really dragging this one out..." Junko said, annoyed.

"Well, as you all know, here at Hope's Peak Academy we want to maintain a happy and harmonious lifestyle!" Monokuma said, with an innocent look on his stitched face.

"Yes, it is a very good vision!" Taka said, oblivious to the fact nobody wanted him to talk, not like he would of met those demands not to talk, either way.

"So, if somebody were to disturb that lifestyle in anyway, well, they alone would be allowed to leave the school. Seems simple, right?"

"Too simple. What do you mean by 'disturbing the lifestyle?'" Byakuya asked.

"Oh, well, you know..."

"Actually, we don't. You haven't told us ye-" Hiro got shushed by everyone.

"...If someone were to murder another person." Monokuma said, while chuckling maniacally,

"W-what?! Murder?" Makoto asked, even though it didn't need to be answered.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Murder? That's perfect for Waluigi!" He said, somewhat proud, although he was lucky that everyone else was lost in their own thoughts, of why one would do such a thing and the even bigger question: would they murder another to get out of a prison?

 **That's all for this chapter. I apologize if I'm just starting to get into story stuff, but every line of the game I feel like I can add a whole new flow of comments to. You're just lucky that I didn't do more with some of them, hehehe.**

 **Also, I'm trying to make it so that every character is being involved at least twice in every chapter. Am I doing a good job of that? I would love to hear that and more constructive criticism. And I love it when you give suggestions in the plot, too. Who knows, I may just use one.**

 **That's all for now, though. See you next chapter!**

 **\- Joey :)**


	3. Mondo Gets Pissed Off Several Times

**Watermelon Shark, thank you for the review! I'm glad that you find this to be stupid enough for you to love it. Trust me, I try my best.**

"M-murder…?" Chihiro squeaked. She was clearly on the verge of crying. Taka rushed over to comfort her while maintaining a look of shock.

"H-how dare you… Why would a headmaster like you allow murder?!" Taka asked loudly, but clearly not actually knowing.

"Well, I'm not exactly your normal headmaster, now am I…? Not every headmaster is as adorable as I am!" Monokuma said cheerfully as he did a twirl that was, admittedly, cute... but that's not what most people were thinking about at the moment.

"Hm…. I'm starting to think this isn't a joke..." Hiro said, whilst thinking very hard.

Junko went over and slapped him.

"HEY! What did I do?!"

"Be stupid as shit, that's what." Leon said, chuckling.

Aoi rolled her eyes. "Of all the times to do that, this is probably the worst time out there."

Words of agreement came from just about everyone.

"Oh, but how you do it doesn't matter! You can crush, shoot, drown, torture, whatever! There's a murder style for everyone, even for innocent little Sayaka over there!" Monokuma said, happy as an animatronic bear could possibly be.

"B-but… I would n-never murder…! Nobody h-here would!" Sayaka said, clearly terrified for her life.

"Y-yeah!" Makoto said.

"Somebody will. Look at the uncertainty in everyone's eyes. They know they want to get out. Nothing is for sure." Byakuya said, making everyone reflect on if someone in the room would murder.

"Waaaaa! Waluigi know that some people here want to murder heem! Waluigi know that they won't though! Nat if Waluigi have anything to say about it!"

Hifumi chuckled a bit, prompting Celes to smack him in the face.

"...Sorry, master Celes..."

"W-wait, when d-did H-hifumi start c-calling her m-master? T-that's just wrong..." Toko said, face paler than normal.

"Man, the tension in here is think enough to cut with a 10000 degree flaming knife! I love it!" Monokuma said, joyously.

"D-did he just say an outdated meme…? Who is this guy…?" Hifumi commented, sadder than when he got smacked by Celes.

"Hifumi, I suggest you be quiet before I hit you again." Celes said, overly sweet.

"Yes, master."

"You know… You guys are the hope of the world… and seeing that hope murdered creates pure despair..." Monokuma said, ignoring the fact that nobody reacted to his dank meme.

"Which is exactly why we shouldn't do it!" Sakura yelled. Others joined her in similar comments.

"Y-yeah! How could you even ask us to kill each other?!" Chihiro screamed, to make sure everyone heard her.

"This is bullshit! I'm not gonna fucking kill anyone!" Mondo yelled.

Mondo, at this point, was boiling with rage. He moved up from where he was standing up to face Monokuma.

"Listen up bitch. What kind of joke is this?! This shit was never funny. Let us go, or I'll kill you!"

Monokuma laughed a bit. "Wait, a joke? Like your hair?"

Oh shit.

"Waaaaa! Waluigi agree with the bear! Waluigi is having too much fun! Wahahaha!" Waluigi fell off the folding chair, but it didn't help with the tension, as Monokuma said, that's think enough to cut with a 10000 degree flaming knife.

" ** _FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"_** Mondo screamed loudly, understandably so, while he took Monokuma and started strangling him, making his plush body start to sqeak.

"V-violence against t-the headmaster i-is against the….s-school rules…!" Monokuma yelled, as he was choked.

All of the sudden, there was a faint beeping.

 _Beep…..beep….beep….beep…_

"W-what the…?" Makoto exclaimed.

 _Beep..beep..beep..beep..beep…_

"Mondo, get rid of it!" Kyoko yelled.

"H-huh?!"

 _beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep…_

"Mondo, throw it!" Kyoko yelled, much louder this time.

Mondo, not bothering any more time to hang on to it, threw it as hard as he could… right up at the ceiling.

"Ah! It's gonna explode!" Hiro screamed, late to the party.

 _ **BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEE**_

Monokuma exploded right at the top of the gym, on the ceiling. Immediately, drops of water began leaking into the gym. The students, however, shocked, ignored this and looked straight at a pale white Mondo.

"H-holy s-shit…. Thank you… you saved my life…"

Kyoko maintained an unreadable look on her face. "It was no problem. Just don't do it again."

"Fuck, I'm not chancing that shit again..."

"Yes, next time you shouldn't even think about harming the school headmaster again!" Taka excliamed, clearly not caring about Mondo's safety. "Just look at the water damage you caused!" he pointed to the ceiling, where drops were still falling.

"N-now isn't really the time, Taka..." Makoto commented.

"W-wait..." Chihiro began to say. "This means that the teddy bear is dead, r-right?"

"I've told you a million times, I'm not a teddy bear! I'm Monokuma!"

What.

"Aah! He rises from the dead to avenge the one who killed him!" Hiro screamed, pointing to the monochrome bear thought to be destroyed.

He looked exactly the same but he had a roll of… duct tape in his paw…?

"This is for the water damage, punk!" Monokuma said, throwing it at Mondo, going right through his corn hair like it was a horseshoe or something of the sort.

"H-how…?" Asked Sayaka, in shock.

"Waaaah! There's another!" Leon yelped.

"Y-you…. You just tried to kill me, you bitch!" Mondo yelled.

"Well, of course I did! You just violated one of the school rules! I had no other choice." Monokuma said, crossly.

'T-that was u-unnecessary, though…." Toko commented, bringing up a good point.

"Waluigi would have done the same! That loser called me an eggplant!" Waluigi said, finally getting the attempted roast from a chapter ago.

"I'm not shocked at all you said that." Junko said, as she rolled her eyes.

"This time, I'll let you off with a warning, but I'm not joking when I say you need to follow my rules." He made a gun with his paw...fingers? And pointed it at Mondo.

"I'm assuming that's what the giant guns in the Main Hall were for…?" Byakuya asked.

"Correct, Byakuya Togami! Would you like a gold star?" Monokuma said, laughing afterwards.

"Man, you laugh at your jokes way too much…" Aoi said.

"Why, is that a bad thing?"

"Yes. Unless you are trying to show us how to have a bad sense of humor, you aren't teaching us anything useful with that." Celes said, not caring about what just happened with Mondo.

"Man, what a mood killer..." Hiro commented, trailing off at the end.

"Tell me about it!" Monokuma said, wiping away a fake tear.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"Waluigi think that you're lousy." He said, pointing a gloved finger at Monokuma.

"Wow…! When I took this job, I knew high-schoolers were a tough crowd to please, but this is just terrible… I feel simply hurt! Hurt and betrayed…."

"Waluigi not in High School though. That was 8 years of Waluigi's life that Waluigi's never getting back." He said, shaking his head.

"Wait a minute, 8? God, you are really stupid… I'd be shocked if you knew what 2 plus 2 was..." Junko said, afterwards face-palming.

"Hm… does this mean that there are Monokumas all over the school?" Sakura asked, ignoring Waluigi like one should.

"Yep. there's at least one for every room in the school!" Monokuma replied, excited.

"So…. Does that mean that the Monokuma who gave us the announcement while we were in the Main Hall is the same one as you?" Aoi asked.

"Nope! That one was different, sadly, unlike a snowflake, I'm not completely unique..."

"A-actually, t-that expression isn't t-true at all..." Toko corrected, trailing off at the end.

Ignoring Toko, Monokuma moved on. "Well, because of your entry to the school, I'd like to give something to all of you..."

"W-we don't want your g-gifts!" Sayaka said, still scared half to death.

Monokuma held up a device about the size of a credit card. "This… is you e-Handbook, to traverse through the school and to look at cool statistics and things, for you nerds, of course," He said, looking at Chihiro.

"A-am I a...nerd…? W-well, I'm sorry..." She said, tears in her eyes.

"You're no nerd, Chihiro! Our headmaster just let that… slip… right? You didn't mean it, right?"

"Waaaaa! Brows here really is oblivious, Waluigi wonders what lies from me he would believe! Wahahaha!"

"I have a feeling that you're gonna murder someone..." Hiro said, shaking his head.

"D-don't say that, Hiro..." Makoto commented.

"Anyways..." Monokuma started again, holding back up the e-Handbook. "This is essential for your life here. It will display your name when you turn it on, so make sure you have the correct one!"

"Hm… what about Waluigi?" Hifumi asked.

"Ah, yes, well… Uh, I'll figure it out! Maybe I'll have to make it myself... _sigh_." Monokuma said, whispering the last part to himself, glumly.

"Waluigi wishes he weren't here..." Waluigi said, fake sniffing and crying.

"You and me both..." Leon said.

Monokuma rolled his eyes. "This e-Handbook is also water-proof, as well as fire proof, it can withstand 10 tons, and most importantly, it has all the school rules, so if you don't want to accidentally break a rule and get punished, read this!"

Mondo sighed. He had caused the waning, after all.

"Well…. I think that that will close the Entrance Ceremony! Please enjoy your despair filled school life, and toodles!" Monokuma went back behind the podium and disappeared.

"...Where did he go?" Aoi asked to nobody in particular, as she looked behind the podium only to find floor and podium.

"Ah! He was a ghost all along! I knew it!" Hiro screamed.

"G-give it a break for once..." Toko said, sharpness in her voice.

"B-but… I don't get it! We're here… forever!" Sayaka exclaimed.

"Everyone, just calm down." Kyoko said.

"Yeah, we should listen to her! She saved my life, after all!" Mondo said, surprisingly positive for him.

"Wa… Waluigi get you next time…!" He vowed to Mondo.

"Are….Are you going to t-try to kill him?!" Hifumi asked dramatically to Waluigi.

"No…. But Waluigi pull the best pranks! Wahahahaha!"

"Oof, I bet… please don't prank me, ok?" Chihiro asked that question, eyes watery, probably from the ceremony.

"No worries, Chihiro. Waluigi only pranks those who deserve eet! So stay out of his way! Wahahaha!"

"If we want to get out of here alive, we need to kill somebody, correct?" Celes asked to Kyoko, ignoring everything Waluigi related, as she often does.

"Yep. Or we live a "communal" life together." Byakuya said, answering for Kyoko.

"Well first we need to make one thing clear..." Sakura started. "Nobody here is considering killing anyone, right?"

To that, there was no answer. Everyone looked around the room at one another, looking in each others eyes. There was hostility in the air. A fight could've broken out at any moment. The thoughts of having to kill someone to leave… It was bringing out the worst in everyone else.

"Waluigi already know about himself, but look around you- everyone wants to kill each other! Waluigi doesn't like this! Waluigi wants to go home!" Waluigi started crying, maybe real or fake.

"Me too…." Chihiro started crying too.

"Guy, guys, let's not get too upset at one another… We can't buy into Monokuma's words… We need to find a way out of here!" Makoto exclaimed, trying to get everyone on his side.

"Yes, are we just going to stand around glaring at each other? Or crying?" Kyoko said, breaking the tension in the room.

"R-right… She's right…!" Taka said. Even Monokuma's words had taken a toll on him, which was hard to do, knowing him. "Sometimes, even if you're afraid, you need to step up!" He exclaimed, hoping to lift everyone's spirits.

"My question is… what is the mission to do here…?" Hifumi asked.

"Look for a way out, without a doubt!" Leon answered, confident.

"I think we should look at the e-Handbook, first and foremost."Makoto said, hoping to help everyone out.

"Yes, the school regulations are the most important thing to look at." Kyoko agreed.

"Bah! Waluigi never follows the rules! That's for goody two shoes losers, like Taka over there!" Waluigi said, pointing straight at Taka.

"...Do you want to get yourself killed?" Byakuya asked to Waluigi.

"Wa… I guess you bring up a good point..."

"L-let's check the school rules..." Chihiro said.

Everyone took a look at the school rules in their e-Handbooks. Waluigi, without one, decided to peer over and look at Sakura's… without her permission of course.

"Hey! What are you doing…?"

"Wa?! Ooh, can I look at the rules? I need to. Pretty please? I'll give you a million bucks!" Waluigi said, hopeful.

"While I know that last statement was false, I'll let you look anyway." Sakura replied, not really caring.

After looking at all the rules, a few things had to be addressed.

"These rules are bullshit! Who are they to control me?!" Mondo said loudly.

"You may explore how you want wherever, then. Personally, I would love to see what happens if somebody breaks the rules." Celes said, not helping with the stormy mood of the room.

"That's true. I've made a lot of promises in my life, and I never don't fulfill my promises. I can't die quite yet, in that case." Mondo said, realizing how stupid it was to say what he just said.

"So… y-you will follow regulations?" Chihiro asked, hopeful.

"Oh….yeah, I guess..."

"Um… I have a question…." Sayaka said, hoping someone would listen.

"Shoot! But not me. Wahahahaah!" Waluigi joked, not knowing when it is and isn't ok to make those jokes.

"Well…. For rule 6, what do you think it means…?"

"It says that if you kill somebody, you can't have anybody figure out that it was you." Byakuya said.

"B-but w-why…?" Toko asked, shocked.

"I'd just worry about following the rules as they have been given to us. Nothing more, nothing less." Byakuya said, wanting this discussion to be over.

"Well, I say we shouldn't worry about that murdering stuff for now. Let's explore the school!" Aoi said, excited.

"True. We need to do that." Taka said, agreeing.

"Waluigi is craving one of his garlic eggplant sandwiches. With extra horseradish, of course!"

"Oh, god. That sounds terrible. How could you eat that…?" Junko asked, disgusted.

"Actually, I think it sounds pretty good!" Hiro said, beaming.

Silence.

"...What?"

"I'll be going alone in exploring the school." Byakuya said.

"What? Why would you do that?" Sayaka asked.

"Think about it. Someone may already be thinking of murdering somebody. Would you rather just be alone with a possible murderer?" Byakuya said sharply.

"W-wait… b-but..." Sayaka started.

"No. You know very well it's possible. That's why you all reacted the way you did when we first got out of the ceremony, correct?" Byakuya was getting annoyed.

"Hold on. I'm not going to let you run off and go whatever the hell you want." Mondo said.

"Nyah! Me too! It's not fair that you get to run off alone!" Waluigi said.

"...I don't think that's the point Mondo is trying to make at all..." Leon commented quietly.

"Out of my way, plankton." Byakuya said, attempting to push past Mondo.

"Oh! I love that show!" Aoi said, happy that references exist.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Mondo said, annoyed.

"You are only one tiny plankton, in the endless sea. So insignificant you couldn't possibly have any influence on the world around you."

Oh shit.

"Well, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"S-stop! Please, don't fight!" Makoto rushed in.

"No, don't listen to the boring kid! Do fight! Wahaha!" Waluigi said, laughing up a storm.

"What did you just say? You tryin' to be some goody bitch?" Mondo said, furious.

"N-no… I wasn't tr-"

"FUCK YOU!"

Mondo socked Makoto right in the face so hard that he passed out right on the floor, while the water drops, still coming down from the floor above, fell onto his hair.

"Oh my god! M-makoto, are you OK?!" Sayaka hovered over him, making sure he was alright.

"Wahaha! Nice punch, Corn-on-the-Cob!" Waluigi laughed.

"I'll get you next, bub!"

"Mondo. Waluigi. This is the third time I've had to step in between you two. We don't need any more tension." Sakura said, as she looked at Makoto, which was hard to do considering everyone was gathering around him, trying to figure out what to do with him.

"I hope he's ok..."

 **That will conclude this 3rd chapter! I really do hope that you all have enjoyed this dumb little story I've been doing for the past little while. I always try to make it funny, but in some cases like the last chapter and this one, through all the drama, it can be hard to add both drama and comedy, not to mention trying to fit in every character, which is tough when you constantly are adding new lines from the characters not in the game.**

 **As always, if you want to give me feedback, just review it, and I'll be sure to try to improve on my work :)**

 **\- Joey.**


	4. The World Famous Waluigi Sandwich!

**First of all, I want to apologize for the long delay of this chapter. I had a big issue with my laptop where i write this story so i couldn't write it for about 2 months so I deeply apologize. But before we start...**

 **Dimenian, thank you for the review, and I can safely say that it was indeed random, so you should be proud! (I guess…) And, yes, I did like it. Anyways, on with the story!**

Everyone was looking down on Makoto, who had just been punched into a state of unconsciousness by Mondo, who still hadn't really realized the gravity of the thing he had just done, but was now being held back by Sakura.

"Oh my god, Makoto! Can you hear me? Please, answer!" Sayaka said, shaking his body and yelling and everything that she thought would work. Of course, none of it did because Makoto was out cold, but I give her an A for effort.

Byakuya just rolled his eyes. "Of course he can't hear you, he just got knocked unconscious by that plankton over there." He said, gesturing his head to Mondo, who was yelling… rude things in Waluigi's direction, with Waluigi laughing up a storm.

"W-well, shouldn't h-he go back to his room?" Chihiro asked.

"Yes! We must not leave a fellow student laying here with water getting in his hair!" Taka said, pointing at Makoto's soaking dome.

"I-i should take him b-back..." Sayaka said.

Celes shook her head. "To be honest, I think that in order to be safe that he will not be killed, we should have Sakura and… Aoi go along to bring him to his room."

"Alright. After me and Sakura are done with that, we can explore the rest of the school!" Aoi said, excited, even in the situation she was in.

"Yes, before anything else, we should explore the school. Personally, I would like to explore the school by myself, so I will do that. You would be wise to do the same." Kyoko said, as she turned to leave the gym, nobody stopping her.

Byakuya didn't even say anything as he left, but Taka tried to get him back over by the powers of words, which is not very effective on Byakuya, apparently.

"I'm going to go after him. He needs to say something before running off like that!" Taka yelled, sprinting after Byakuya, which was pretty unnecessary.

"I, myself, would love to check out our rooms. Hmmmm…. Chihiro, wanna come?" Junko asked, trying to be nice to her.

"U-ummm, sure... A-are you sure you want me though…? I wouldn't be too useful..." Chihiro said, head down.

"Hell yeah! You're awesome! If you want me to bring along others, though, I will." Junko said, trying to cheer her up.

"Waluigi volunteers! I mean, Waluigi has been in large but strange buildings before. There was one with paintings and they said Waluigi wasn't actually there, but Waluigi knows that he wa-"

"Leon, Hiro, want to come along?" Junko asked, cutting Waluigi off.

They both said yes, and all four of them left the gym.

"Well, I think Aoi and I had better take Makoto to his room. He really needs to get better after that punch you threw at him, Mondo." Sakura said, looking disappointed in Mondo.

"Yeah, about that… I want to apologize, or at least make sure he's fine. I know that what I did was fuckin' dumb, so I want to make it up to him somehow." Mondo said, seeming sorry enough to convince Aoi to have him come along.

"Hm…. Sure! The more the merrier, as they say!"

Sakura said nothing, as they left the Gym, a sleeping Makoto in Mondo's arms.

There were only five left now.

"I think that I'm going to look around the school. I'm sure you all will, as well." Sayaka said, cheerful as she left.

"...Considering how sorry and hurt she was just 5 minutes ago or so, she's just fine now." Hifumi commented, shaking his head.

"R-really, I-i think t-that she f-fakes it..." Toko said.

"As a gambler, I can say that she's bad at faking it, but people like Makoto or Hiro for that matter are much too... special to understand that." Celes added.

"Waluigi doubts it." He said, picking his giant pink nose.

"Ewwww… We don't need to see that..." Hifumi said, looking horrified.

"I seriously doubt you haven't done anything worse, Hifumi." Celes said, rolling her eyes.

"Sh-shouldn't w-we be exploring the s-school?" Toko asked.

There was a strange silence for a second, like nobody knew how to answer that.

"Waluigi thinks that the other losers will do it for us. Wahahaha!" He cackled, getting some nods of approval and even a yes by Hifumi.

There was another strange silence for a bit.

"S-so… W-what do you think…? Byakuya's a t-total hunk, right?" Toko said, blushing furiously.

"What?! Never! How could you even consider that I would be into rich snobs like him?! I'm only into the 2D!" Hifumi proclaimed, loudly.

"All Waluigi know about him is that he's a loser."

"S-shut up… Y-you don't k-know beauty i-if it hit you in t-the face!"

At that moment, a giant drop of water fell onto Hifumi, drenching his weird hair.

"Whaaaaaaaa?!"

There were laughs all around except by Celes.

"While I'm guessing that we will all be in the gym by ourselves, we may as well actually talk about the situation we are in, instead of going on about the attractiveness of other students." Celes said, fully expecting no disagreement.

"….Waaah…. Ok." Waluigi said, obviously wanting to talk about Byakuya a bit more.

"So… It is true that this Monokuma character wants us to… kill each other, correct? Well, I suggest we start talking about how we can prevent that." Celes said.

"W-what if w-we made it s-so we c-can't go o-out at nighttime…?" Toko asked, sweating a bit.

"Waaaaa…. That's terrible. What eef we made eet so that Waluigi would eat the other's dinner eef they murdered someone? Waluigi thinks it's a great rule. Wahahaha!"

"...W-why did w-we get stuck with t-this j-jerk?" Toko asked, to nobody in particular.

"I have no clue..." Hifumi said, trying to dry off his wet hair with his tie, not really working.

"Going back to Toko's suggestion, I think it is a good idea. I think I shall propose it when we meet back up with everyone else." Celes said.

"D-dont forget t-to credit m-me though… t-too many w-writers have t-tried to steal m-my work…!" Toko said, almost threatening Celes.

Hifumi screamed. "O-of course not! P-please don't hurt me! I would do anything! J-just let me live!"

"Waaaa… you'd better watch out, fatty! Waluigi know that, as a proven creeminal, he has to murder at some point! Wahahaha!"

"P-please… I've never done anything to hurt any of you...Neither Ms. Fukawa or Mr. Waluigi."

At that moment, a loud growl could be heard through the whole gym, making everyone look at the source of the growling: Waluigi.

"Waluigi really craving one of his famous Garlic-Eggpant sandwiches." He said, drooling a little bit.

"How can you be sure that the ingredients for that horrid sandwich are even in the kitchen?" Celes asked, probably hoping those specific ingredients weren't in there.

"Waluigi know how to make Eggplant and Garlic from scratch!"

"Y-you m-mean by growing it?" Toko asked, a bit shyly.

"Wa?! No no no. Waluigi uses a laaaaat of Mushrooms and Corn Starch. Your way ees obviously weird! Wahaha!" Now the gym had a small pool of either water from the ceiling or Waluigi's drool on the amber wood.

"H-how do you even qualify as a person?!" Hifumi yelled, dramatically.

"G-get your d-dumb food and go a-already!" Toko said pretty seriously.

And with that, Waluigi ran out of the gym, his orange elf shoes hitting the wood loudly, much like the man in them, en route to the dining hall, where he hoped he would be able to eat his Garlic-Eggplant Sandwich (with extra horseradish) in peace. Unfortunately for him, though, was the fact there was one person in there.

"WAAAA!" He yelled very loudly as he ran through the doors of the dining hall, maybe as a warning to others he had entered, or just because he was Waluigi.

"O-oh... Hi Waluigi..." Sayaka was there, coming out of the food storage room. She had a look of worry on her face.

"Wa..." Waluigi looked disappointed, and so did Sayaka, which was strange for her, for she usually put on a bright smile, though she did that that soon after.

"So! Waluigi-san, what bring you here?" She said, putting on an overly sweet demeanor to Waluigi.

"Waluigi hungry."

"O-oh... W-what were you looking for...?" She asked.

"Food."

"..."

"..."

"What food?'

"Wa?! Isn't it obvious?! Eggplant and Garlic!"

"Well, everything's back there! Do you mind if I.. help you find everything?" Sayaka asked, trying to be nice.

"Lady, Waluigi isn't the boss of you." Waluigi said, giving her a thumbs up.

"I think I'll join you... I'm k-kinda lonely..."

Waluigi stared her down for a solid 5 long, long seconds until entering the food storage room without another word. In the room there were many things. From machinery, like toasters, fridges, and microwaves, to utensils, like forks, sporks, and knives. Of course, though, there was so much food. So, so much food. Sayaka laughed as Waluigi dove into a pile of fancy cheeses.

"Wa! The school budget must be pretty big if they can afford all these cheeses! Waluigi might not even do his famous Garlic-Eggplant sandwich! Wahaha! I can live the rest of my life here!"

Sayaka breathed a silent sigh of relief with Waluigi saying he might not do his idea of that dumb sandwich.

"Instead, Waluigi's gonna add onions and even MORE horseradish! Am I a genius or what?!"

"Are you kidding me...?" Sayaka said, obviously not happy.

"Wa? What did you say, pretty lady?"

Sayaka giggled a bit at the 'pretty' remark. "N-nothing, Waluigi-san!"

After that, Waluigi began making his sandwich. He took radish infused bread (which the school had for some reason) and put a giant, wet eggplant and just put in on the bread, no cutting it or anything. Next, he added the garlic, and he took a pickle jar and dumped out all the pickes into his mouth and ate them, and proceeded to dump another jar of garlics into the pickle juice of the first jar, and expertly layed out the 'pickled' garlic onto the eggplant. It took a little while, but he found a 'Extra Large Family Sized" jar of horseradish, and with the help of a knife with a queasy Sayaka watching, managed to get the jar open, and Waluigi dumped literally the whole jar onto the sandwich.

"W-wow, Waluigi-san, that's a lot of horseradish..." Sayaka said, more amazed than disgusted at this point.

"Waluigi loves his horseradish."

"I see that..."

Sayaka then reached behind her, getting on a stepladder which let her get more height to reach a giant onion. At that point it probably would have been Makoto's dream to simply look up, but too bad for him, he got in between an argument involving a merciless biker. Waluigi of course, didn't care whatsoever about Sayaka.

"H-here, I knew you needed them, so I saw this onion and I thought it would be perfect for you, Waluigi-san..."

"Wa?! You're still here? Wa... Waluigi didn't even know you came in here in the first place." Waluigi said, shocked as he took the giant onion from Sayaka's hands.

"W-well, I didn't think I'd stay either, but you interest me so much Waluigi..." Soon after that, she began silently sobbing.

"Wa?! Are you crying because you're that amazed by the great Waluigi?! Wahaha! I don't blame you!" He said, grinding the onion to shreds with his sharp cartoonish teeth.

"N-no... It's just the onions... I cry whenever someone even has them..." Sayaka said.

"Wahahaha! Waluigi see what you doing now!" Waluigi was laughing up a storm.

"H-huh..? What am I doing, Waluigi-san?" Sayaka asked, conveniently right after she stopped crying.

"You're faking liking the great Waluigi! I had my doubts because you obviously have feelings for that... boring guy. Now Waluigi know the truth! Wahahaha!" Waluigi laughed as he cried tears of joy or onions.

"..."

"W-wa?! Are you ok?!"

"You're obviously too dumb to figure that out yourself. Who told you?" Sayaka said, seriously. She wasn't putting on an overly sweet shtick anymore.

"W-wa?! What happened to your... genericness?!" Waluigi said, never afraid to break the fourth wall.

"You heard me. Who told you? Don't try dodging my question." Sayaka said again. This time somehow being more serious.

"W-wa... Eet was the creepy girl and the fat guy! Now leave Waluigi alone! He don't wanna die!" Waluigi began really crying... all over his now complete sandwich.

"..."

"P-please don't hurt Waluigi!"

"Heeheehee... I wasn't going to hurt you, Waluigi-san. Sometimes I get a little... serious! Everyone does! I'm sorry if i made you worry." Sayaka said, being sweet and nice again.

Waluigi took his sandwich and ran out of the dining hall. Really fast, too. It looked like he was running towards the rooms, which didn't make much sense, considering he just came out of nowhere and probably didn't have a room.

"You are so weird, Waluigi... Why are you even here?"

 **Alright, everyone. That will do it for this edition of this dumb thing that I'm doing for some reason. I hope you liked it. This chapter was a bit tougher than most because of the fact none of this is in the actual game because of Makoto being knocked unconscious and all, so it was interesting to try to write something with not all that much structure so early in the game/fic. Just a quick reminder: I'm not gonna have anything romantic in this fic unless i put a disclaimer before the chapter, but that's still a possibility, so if you're only here for Waluigi falling in love with anime girls, I mean, ok. And if you aren't, stick around anyway.**

 **As always, I appreciate reviews and I love constuctive critism and suggestions. You want Wario to replace Hiro? A bit too late for that, but really you can suggest anything and I will certainly consider it and maybe I'll use it. And all reviews in general I'll mention before the next chapter, so that's fun.**

 **Anyways, that'll do it. I have no idea why I'm still doing this, but it's summer and I have nothing to do soooo here i am.**

 **\- Joey**


End file.
